Hi.  I am now “blogging.”  Now when people ask me what I do.  I blog.  This sounds much more hip than just looking confused and mumbling that I’m a “stay-at-home mom,” looking embarrassed, watching their eyes glaze over, or them condescendingly tell me that I have “the hardest job in the world,” and me crossing them off my list of people worth listening to.  Now, though, I can save us all.  I blog.

Being a “stay-at-home mom” is kind of usually great, but it seems our culture doesn’t really seem to get it.  At times this gets tiring.  Yet as I get older it bothers me less because I’m actually happy most of the time even if I usually have no idea what I really do most of the day.  I just know that I do a lot of whatever it is.  It is much better to say, “I blog” and just leave the rest of it the blur that it usually is.

As a mom, the media tries to tell me what I do, but it’s clear that the hip people in all those shiny office buildings making the big bucks have no clue.   I nor my friends look like those housewives on those reality shows. If we did, we’d know what we do – lots of makeup, lots of clothes, lots of wine, and mostly invisible kids.  Actually I think I’d be miserable.  Then there’s the snarky “soccer mom” comic relief characters on TV sitcoms who weigh 90 pounds with perfectly straight hair and who go to yoga in fashionable stretch pants.  Why are they always snarky?  I hate that.  If I looked like that in fashionable stretch pants, I’d never be snarky.

Me?  I talk to my dog, Skippy, a lot and then talk for him back.  He sounds like a redneck which I like.  He calls me “Ma.”  I also lament my weeds to my neighbors, but secretly wonder how high the weeds could really grow before someone discreetly mows my lawn.  Actually,  I don’t want anyone to mow my lawn.  Someone else mowing for free is huge.  Embarrassing.  It’s like wearing a suburban scarlet letter as someone secretly tells someone else at Bunco that they mowed your lawn.  Naturally you were probably “sick,” but you weren’t.  I guess I’d better stop the blogging and mow the lawn.  I am an excellent neighbor, though, who always picks up the dog poop and I make sure everyone knows as I carry my plastic bag.  TV never shows housewives picking up dog poop, pondering their weeds, or going to yoga when they do make it at all, wearing black stretch pants two sizes too small …

Yet, now I blog. I can’t imagine anyone really reading my blog, but the weeds can wait. I figure I still have an inch or two …

So what’s my purpose other than telling people at Bunco or at cello lessons that I “blog?” What is my “passion” as they ask in “blogging tips?”  Other than my family, I have no clue, but maybe I’ll eventually find one.  One thing that I do know, though, is that I spend a A LOT of time in my minivan with bored teenagers on American highways looking for interesting things to do as we go college hunting, race to their team sporting events, and get them out of Grandma’s house when we’re stuck there for a week.

And given this, I know my time with my teenagers is limited, so I want to make it fun and memorable and I bet you do too if you have kids.  I already have one off to college.  Soon the other two will go too, and only Skippy will be around to call me “Ma.”  And that is what my blog will be: how to make the most of your time with your family on road trips, on adventures, and sometimes in just everyday mundane life.

And I have questions.

Here are some questions I’ll explore:  How do you explain the condom machine in that scary gas station on the way to Florida?  How do you tell a gas station has clean bathrooms with just a glance?  What’s the healthiest food in a gas station minimart or should you just give up?  Are outlet malls really worth it?  Where do you park the bored husband?  Can you even attempt to eat healthy at an outlet mall or should you just grab the churro and forget about it?   When stuck in an endless traffic jam do you actually pull over and stop the car to pee by the side of the road, or is it best to prepare ahead of time with a discreet “disposable pee container?”  And there’s more.  My mind works tirelessly on these questions, so yours doesn’t have to.

I know none of this sounds terribly deep or profound, and maybe the media’s lack of respect for stay-at-home moms like me is sometimes warranted.  Still – there are questions many of us ponder if we have kids and teenagers, no matter who we are – soccer moms, doctors, executives, or whatever.  Plus at 53 and 15 years at home, I refuse to let the media people answer my questions for me.  I will find my own answers.

Get ready.  My goal is at least one blog per week – mostly about things to do and places to go.  This week I will explore those outlet malls WE ALL whiz by on the interstate as the kiddies scream to stop.  I don’t go to them often.  I’m not a huge shopper, but they look clean, so often I think I should stop.  Kill some time.  Exercise my teenagers who just ate 20 chicken nuggets and drank a gallon of Coke.  Outlet malls probably have trash cans to clean out the minivan too … My friends go to outlet malls.  Usually they seem to buy casserole dishes.  I don’t really need casserole dishes, but who knows?  I will find out, so you don’t have to … I’m a blogger now, so I must blog!